Why We Are Resistant To Change

For the month of September I would like to focus on the word Change, but for some reason I feel like I’ve focused on this topic before; unfortunately I can’t say for sure if I have. Nonetheless, I’m confident that what I choose to share this month will be different from what I’ve shared in the past. I’m choosing to discuss Change this month because Change is something that most of us struggle with when it occurs; but it’s inevitable and because it is, I think we should learn to be more accepting and more opened to the possibility of it occurring in any situation. Change occurs often in the relationships we have with others because people change and we change. Sometimes change is good. I don’t think anyone wants to be the same person they were ten years ago nor would they want to be the same person they are ten years from now. We always want to change for the better and this is a good thing.

For this week’s post I want to talk about why we can be so resistant change. It’s not often that I meet someone who’s open to the possibility of things changing, especially when this change occurs sporadically. Most of us need time to plan or process but change doesn’t always work that way. Change is the thing people are referring to when they use the phrase “if you stay ready, you ain’t got to get ready lol.” You have to stay ready for it because you don’t always know when it’s coming and when it comes, depending on what the change is, it can really flip your world upside down and inside out. It’s ironic that we are not more prepared for it considering how often it occurs. With that said, here are four reasons why I think we can be resistant change.

  1. THE UNKNOWN some of us are afraid of the unknown because we don’t know what’s on the other side, and change does that. We don’t always know what the change will bring about. Will we like it? Will it be better? What if it’s worse? These are some reasons why we are resistant, we don’t know what the unknown will bring. But I think that’s one of the great things about life, even if we don’t like it, we can try and make the best of it. There is always some good that we can find, even when things are bad and that’s the mindset we have to have when dealing with the unknown. Furthermore, the unknown can be good but for some reason we classify the unknown as potentially being bad. What if it’s potentially good? There’s a 50/50 chance but unfortunately the emphasis often goes towards the negative.
  2. IT CAN BE HARD especially if you’re learning something new. Learning to adjust to this change can be challenging so once again we want to resist. But over time we get acclimated to the new way or the new thing. That’s what I try to tell myself when I encounter change that I struggle with, I say “I’ll get use to it” and I keep it moving. Because we will, anything new that we encounter becomes second nature over time, especially if you use (or do it) often enough.
  1. WE ARE CREATURES OF HABIT this is the reason why I’m resistant to change. I’m a creature of habit. Once I get use to something, I like to stick to it because I don’t have to think about it. What I’ve started doing is keeping in the back of mind that “things may potentially change one day,” that way I won’t be blind sided when it happens, and I’ll be some what mentally prepared when change occurs because I know it will.
  2. WHAT IF WE DON’T LIKE IT and sometimes we won’t. Change isn’t always good for us but it might be good for the other person especially when we are dealing with relationships. This pertains to any form of relationships. I mentioned in the first paragraph that people change and we change and sometimes that change is to the detriment of the relationship. Sometimes friendships and romantic relationships end because of change but even if we don’t like it, it’s probably what’s best for the other person (sometimes that other person is us).

Although we are often resistant to change, we go with it because sometimes we have no choice and since we know that it will occur. I think we should work on changing the narrative around the idea of change, and also change our mindset to being more open to it. We should also find the good instead of always focusing on the challenges that it may potentially bring. I encourage you to go through each of the above and comb through the one(s) that challenges you the most and see if you can get to a root cause. While you may not “change” over night, having that awareness will likely help you get to where you want to be.

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Published by tam33ks

I have a long history with mental illness. Overcoming depression made me realize my own resilience. It also made it clear that I wasn’t taking care of myself. I believe that in order for us to fully engage with ourselves and others we have to make time for self-love through our self-care habits. My goal with this blog is to encourage women in my age group to make time for self-care daily.

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