Now that we are about a week away from the round up post for this month, I want to share that I’m not 100% content with the content I’ve created for the self-love focus. I kind of felt like I was just winging this topic and I think some of that has to do with me trying to create some balance in my life right now. I just moved to a new state and started a new job last week so I’ve been balancing trying to be present for the blog and settling into my new work environment. It’s not really about not having the time, I think my mind is all over the place and it’s interfering with the way that I like to show up for my blog each week. There’s a chance that I may start penciling in a quarterly break from my blog for mental clarity and to give myself a much needed break. But I digress. Self-love is an act that takes time and even if you feel like you have it figured out, there’s always some form of work that needs to be done. Additionally, it may look different for everyone. So it’s a bit of a challenge for me provide tips and ideas each week as it relates to self-love. Based on what I’ve given you so far, I thought it would be great to give you three tips as a take-a-way that speaks to some of the challenges you may face while you’re working on yourself.
I’ve mentioned it in the previous paragraph but I think it’s important to note that self-love is pretty standard but I think it looks different for everyone. I think there are people who practice what I like to call “tough love self-love”–these are people who don’t take life too seriously and they don’t take things personally. They appear to take criticism well and make it work to their advantage. But there are those who need to retreat so they can self soothe when they feel attacked by others. Self-soothing for them might look like self coaching (e.g. don’t let it get to you, you’re good enough, etc), journaling, talking to someone, or just having some me time. I dont think there’s anything wrong with either approach. Everyone is different and it’s important for us to know that what works for one person may not work for the other and it doesn’t make either individual’s way right or wrong, it just is. While you work on (or continue to work on) loving yourself. The following are some tips that I think you should keep in mind:
Be Kind To Yourself because this process will not always be easy. You will encounter a lot of bumps in the road that will cause you to question if you’re doing this right and cause you to question how hard it is. It’s easy to fall back in your old ways because what’s familiar can often provide us with comfort but don’t let that discourage you from continuing to work on loving yourself. When you hit those rough patch, remind yourself that this is normal and show yourself grace.
It Won’t Always Feel Like Love based on the picture society has created on what “love looks like” (always happy, things always going great, etc) that won’t always be the case. You will have to set boundaries and not everyone will be happy with the boundaries you set (including yourself). Some people will make you feel bad about doing what works best for you and sometimes you may not like the decisions you make because sometimes you have to make hard choices that hurt initially but will be the best for you in the long run.
Be Patient I say this often but change takes time and this kind of work will not come to fruition overnight. Even when you make progress you may have some set backs. I think self-love is a journey because as we change, our wants and needs as a person may also change so this work is not a one stop shop, and once you’ve achieved it you may have to continue working. You will likely always have to put in some form of work with self-love.
Nothing I share is law, my goal is to always provide you with tips, ideas and options that you can use fully, or take what you need and leave the rest. Just like everyone else I’m still trying to navigate this thing called life but my post are based on information I’ve learned in therapy and from living life. Some of the information I share have not worked for me but it doesn’t mean it won’t work for anyone else. I think it’s important for us to keep that in mind, if you receive a piece of information that didn’t work for you, it doesn’t mean that you can’t share it with someone else. It’s true what they say; one man’s trash is another’s man treasure. So the bad advice you received in the past may end up changing someone’s life. Do you agree?
Let’s Chat!
Follow Me:
- Instagram: @selfcareatforty
- Twitter: @playingblogger and @naturaldo
- Pinterest: @tam33ks
Self-Care At Forty 
One thought on “When It Comes To Self-Love Don’t Forget These Three Things”