Happy June! If you’re a regular on my blog, by now you should know that a new month means a new Wellness Wednesday focus. For the month of June I’m going to focus on self-love. Which in my terms means the same love you give to others, you should also be giving it to yourself. I like to define it this way because there are a lot of us who “claim” to love someone or something but don’t feel the same about themselves. I put the word claim in parenthesis because if you don’t love and like yourself, then how is it possible for you to love someone correctly. It’s likely lust and not love, chances are that person fills the void inside you that you really should be filling with your own self-love.
I think a lack of self-love derives from an unhealthy upbringing, society, and even our romantic relationships. Our minds are like magnets because it has the potential to attract and hold on to the words we hear, especially if they negatively impact our well-being. This is why it’s so important for us to know our worth and love ourselves. There’s always going to be someone who makes us question ourselves and our abilities but when you love yourself, it creates space for you to not take things to heart and regardless of what others may say or think, you know what you bring to the table and you know that your flaws are only a small part of who you really are. I think there are a lot of methods we can use to help learn to love ourselves but here are two that I think is imperative to self-love.
Acceptance–acceptance was a Wellness Wednesday focus for the month of January I think acceptance is the key to most things but it can be incredibly difficult. As humans we want what we want. And if it’s something that we’ve had our heart set on or if we think it will make us feel good or “happier,” then it’s not easy to accept the alternative. When it comes to self-love we have to be receptive to acceptance because who we are is who we are and that’s it. We can’t change everything but the things we can change may take some time but in the mean time, then we have to accept how things are. Weight is a HUGE factor. For example, if you’re not happy with your weight, you’re likely going to criticize yourself or do things to hide the body part that you’re not 100% content with. It doesn’t help when society presents an image of what’s acceptable, or if you have someone in your life that’s makes you feel guilty about it. I have a friend who calls those things “noise,” and we have to block out that noise. We are so much more than our weight, our big lips, big feet, small hands, etc. and we have to focus on those other aspects. Additionally, we have to learn to accept. Perhaps this means focusing on the positive. Your hands may be small but can you write and use them to handle your day to day tasks? Your feet may be big but can you walk? Your lips may be big but can you smile, talk laugh, kiss, etc. You get my drift.
Boundaries This may not seem like a factor of self-love but a lack of boundaries can drain you. I always say that boundaries are set in place to protect both parties and when you set boundaries you’re setting methods in place that works best for what it is that you want at the moment. A lack of boundaries means that anything goes and essentially that’s an opportunity for others to take you for granted. When you set boundaries you eliminate (or alleviate) those things from happening. Boundaries as it relates self-love says this is how you deserve to be treated. It says that you know who you are and it says that this is not going to work for me right now. When you love yourself you protect your self and that’s why boundaries are set in place.
I always say that the things we need to work on may not happen over night. I said earlier that acceptance is not always easy but you can fake it till you make it. I use the fake it till you make it method when I have to do a presentation. I criticize myself the most when all eyes are on me but I’ve learned that a lot of the things that we criticize about ourselves, others don’t notice. A lot of people have said this to me. “I didn’t notice you stumbled over your words,” “I didn’t notice you spoke to fast,” etc. And if someone points out my mistakes, I play it off and say mistakes happen and shrug it off. Even though I’m probably slowly dying inside lol. Unless you show or tell them, people won’t know what you’re struggling with so fake it till you make it.
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